so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
