two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
