I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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