I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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