This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
