This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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