I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
