i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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