I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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