have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
