Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
