Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
