yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
