It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
