we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
