i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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