That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
