Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.

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(630): View more from Illinois

I just remember telling jokes while vomitting

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(434): View more from Virginia

At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still

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(330): View more from Ohio

He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.

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(770): View more from Georgia

My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester

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(530): View more from California

You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.

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(310): View more from California

I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.

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(251): View more from Alabama

OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS

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