DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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