FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize