i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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