See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize