dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
