Whats the glycemic index on semen?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
