I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
