69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
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