Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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