a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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