I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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