Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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