I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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