I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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