I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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