And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
