dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
