I wanna passion pit in your ass
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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