There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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