Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
