walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize