Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Found your dick twin last night
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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