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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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