her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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