he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
