i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
