I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
