So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
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