Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
there was a trapeze. enough said
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
