Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
