Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
