he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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