we're blogging at a bar
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize