you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
