i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Never underestimate the power of titties
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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