Have you finally orgasmed yet?
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
