We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
