Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
my sisters under your porch take her home
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Randomize
