Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
