That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
