Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
