break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
