I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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