Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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