It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize