So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
