put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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